The theme for my classes the past few days, based on the reading below, is all about the grass being greener on the other side. Always. For whatever f***ed up phenomenon.
"Single people want relationships, settle people wonder if they're missing out on something, traveling types miss stability, stable ones are restless, old friends want new friends, new friends miss old friends, and basically almost everyone my age has some dangling worry trailing around after them everywhere that they're somehow not doing everything, that what they're doing is not altogether the right thing, that they are missing out. … Do not be ashamed. The doubt is natural, and everyone you know - yes, even that person - carries it sometimes too. Allow yourself to be peaceful. Allow yourself satisfaction in what you have. If you really don't like it, allow yourself permission to make changes." - Lillian Schneider
Reading this passage in class Monday morning caused a conversation amongst a few of us after class, about the grass being greener on the other side, but also choosing where to water the grass. I think this is an important balance, which Schneider addresses. Sometimes it truly is about choosing to be satisfied with what you have, with where you are, with the decisions you've made. We all have our days where we're fed up with our life. We argue with our partner, are stuck in a rut with our workouts, feel uninspired with work, can't find anything to wear in an overflowing closet. It's about reminding yourself why and how you've gotten to where you are and why that's absolutely the best thing ever.
The balancing act here is doing the serious introspection and discovering when you truly do need to shift things. When it's not about just trying out a new coffee shop or ordering something new off a menu or running a new route, but maybe actually moving to a new city. When it's not just occasional disagreements, but an unhealthy or not-quite-right relationship. When it's not just needing to make an inspiration board for your office, but realizing that maybe you've gotten everything you can out of your job and need to explore some new options.
What's even more frustrating about this is that most of the time it's not just an either/or situation, but rather there are many options to choose from with many factors that need to be weighed. It's not easy, and nothing is stagnant. It takes work to dig deep into your very own psyche and emotions. It's hard to not only figure out what you really need and want, but to take action! How can you make up your mind about something and know that it's the right decision for you today, this year, 5 years from now?!
There's no way you can do everything, let alone do everything at the same time. You can't vagabond around the world after college for a decade, go straight to grad school to go straight into your career and work your ass off to work your way up the ladder, and be a young mother. Those are three prevalent themes in my life at this moment, to travel, to build a career, and (at some point) have a kid or two. But there's no way I could have done/be doing all three of those things. I had to choose where to put my energy. Since I hadn't met The One, and hadn't decided I was passionate about the law, choosing to be a ski bum and traveling wasn't too difficult of one (easy for me to say now). But the other two options retain a "what if…" aura around them. Yes, it's about choosing what grass to water, but it's also about choosing the grass that you want to grow. I could have chosen to "water the grass" at law school and fully dedicate myself to that path, but at the end of the day, did I really want that grass to grow? I decided I wanted to learn about myself by moving, traveling, skiing, yoga-ing… And I sure am loving watching that pile of hay with grass seeds flourishing into a big ole garden!
There's no way to tell the future. There's no way to control the majority of things out there in the universe. The only thing you can do is to try and balance out satisfaction with what you have today with what you may want in the future.
We're talking all about balance this week with
BOSU and the
Sweat Pink crew for #BOSUStrong! Keep your eyes peeled for another post later this week from me on why balance is the theme of the year, five years, decade for me! Check out the
Sweat Pink challenge page for more details on the #BOSUStrong challenge!
Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by BOSU. I truly appreciate all of the brands that support the Sweat Pink community!
