the pressure to perform in yoga class

Something interesting happened in class to me a couple of weeks ago. I was at a Sunday morning class, and feeling very laid back. I was enjoying flowing sleepily and taking it easy in my practice for a change. We were in a standing figure-4 hip-opener. The teacher, who, along with anyone else who knows me even a little bit, knows that I love arm balances, offered me specifically an opportunity to transition into flying pigeon. I had had every intention to stay in the standing balance, but suddenly I felt pressured to go into the arm balance. So I did.

Coming from a background of power vinyasa yoga, I've always enjoyed (even in a love-hate kind of way) a physically challenging practice. I also grew up playing a lot of sports, so I have been wired to always be pursuing better, faster, stronger, etc. Which is why I think I was so drawn to the physically challenging aspect of yoga.

However, in the past year or two, I've been able to become a little more in tune with my body and it's desires and limitations. Maybe it's being out of the athlete mindset, and/or having to deal with various injuries. Maybe it's due to the fact that between a demanding work schedule, including teaching as much as I can, and a desire to enjoy all of the outdoor activities living in beautiful Colorado has to offer, my personal practice is not as ritual as it was in college. I do try to practice every day, but sometimes that means a 20-minute flow at the gym with an emphasis on post-workout hip and hamstring stretches, as opposed to a 90-minute hot flow class. I've noticed a deepening in many postures of my practice, including some of the taxing arm balances and inversions, as well as some of the more flexibility-oriented postures like pigeon. I think a lot of this deepening has come from being able to follow the wishes of my body. I'm much more able to "blow off a vinyasa" if my shoulders are tired or achy, as opposed to a time in college when I continued to attend rigorous vinyasa classes and attempting all the poses with a strained tendon in my shoulder. Even off the mat, living in a very active community with a knee problem has been difficult. But if I only run on the days where I'm really feeling like running, then my knee is usually ok and the run is pretty successful. As opposed to coming home on fall break my junior year of college and making myself run when the next day a medical test came back positive for the flu.

Just as I've realized the benefits of being in tune to the limitations of your body, I also realize it's important to not become complacent. To continue to challenge yourself. It is absolutely a fine line that we are constantly struggling with. In my classes, I encourage my students (and myself in my own practice) to take everything I say as an offering. To respect your body and it's injuries and limitations, but also to give things a shot. I encourage them, and try to remind myself, to allow the practices of our neighbors in the kula of our class to serve as inspiration. Everyone has different "strengths" in their practice. I've always been stronger, so it is easy for me to see a yogini in full king puff pigeon or full splits and feel a spurt of envy. To try and feel "wow that's awesome, maybe someday" is definitely more difficult and definitely something to strive for.

additional adventurous wandering

As we've started moving into the fall up here at 9,600', the hikes and trees and mountains have only gotten more picturesque. Also, the rain has lent some pretty, misty clouds to the views. They remind me of home!

Hiking in Gunnison and Crested Butte on my trip south to visit Trish!

Hiking a very wet Montgomery since our 14-er race got flooded out. Love the old mine!

Mt Democrat at 14,154' with Ella.

Backpacking in to the Conundrum Hot Springs in Aspen.

This summer and fall has been so amazing! I'm so excited to see what the winter has to bring...there's already snow accumulating on the peaks! 

adventurous wandering

This summer, I've had the pleasure (and have made a considerable effort) to go on a ton of beautiful hikes that I've never done before. This summer has been absolutely gorgeous; it's been super rainy, which means everything has stayed green and blooming. #lovingcolorado

Gold Hill with Emily

Mt Quandary with Ella: 14,265' !

Louisville, CO with Lindsey and Alexa

Breckenridge wandering with Em and Nico

Crystal Lakes with Blair

Blue Lakes with Ella

McCullough Gulch with Jules

South Willow Creek Falls with Jules and Ella

I just had a wonderful conversation with my second family yesterday about the benefits of spending time in the wilderness. Not just a few hours at a time, but days, even weeks, on end (many of us had done NOLS courses). Spending time away from civilization and technology is so incredibly liberating! I do realize the irony of saying that on a blog, but there's a beautiful balance to be found between being a hermit that lives in the woods forever or being superficial. Spending that month in the woods in Idaho during my NOLS course helped me appreciate everything I have. I missed my face cream, my phone, my diamond ring my mom gave me on my 21st birthday, showers... But I didn't NEED that to be happy. It was one of the best things I've ever done in my life, being dirty, hairy, sweaty for weeks, and every day putting my 42-pound pack on to hike another mountain. Seeing things that it seemed like no one else in the world had ever seen. We were remembering our NOLS courses as AUTHENTIC and INTIMATE. There's no need, or chance, to be anything but open and yourself when you're out in the woods. 

Getting little glimpses of that liberation and authenticity with my hikes here in Colorado, getting to hike back to scenes you'd never see from the highway or get the same impression from a picture that you do in person, has made this one of the best summers! Spending that time on the trail with likeminded friends is awesome. Even better, is spending that time on the trail with girlfriends that we then go get pedicures, shop at Nordstrom (or anywhere really), and drink wine! #lovemygirlfriends

Summertime!

So here's a brief recap of my spring/early summer adventures! I was lucky enough to be able to be a guest teacher at one of my closest friend's studios in Arkansas, go to Cabo with two of my closest girlfriends, and spend two glorious weeks in my homestate of North Carolina. ...

This is a picture of my soul sister Sarah and me in her studio, Maitri. This trip was a fantastic break for me. Not only was it "family" time in the South with Sarah's family in Arkansas, but it was also my first time teaching outside of my studio in Colorado. I was welcomed whole-heartedly by the Maitri community, and was so grateful to be able to successfully share my unique jam-sweat-flow sessions. It was also a memorable trip in that I got to be a student again, and to spend some quality time with my adoptive family.  

Next up was my trip to Cabo, Mexico, with two of my closest friends in Colorado. I like to describe this trip in that it wasn't Cabo "woo-hoo" (imagine this paired with a raise-the-roof hand motion), but rather a restorative beach trips with the girls. It was a lot of yoga, running, lying on the beach, girltalk, and sleeping. Oh, and fabulous fish tacos, sunsets, car music, spa dates, and piña coladas. Since it was May, the resort we stayed at was essentially a retirement town, which was more than fine with us. We ventured into downtown Cabo a couple of times to eat, drink, and shop. We also made a day trip up to Todos Santos. We found it an adorable town, although missed being right on the beach. A boss/client of ours in Breckenridge treated us to a fabulous meal there, one of the best any of us has ever had! I planned my vacation reading perfectly, choosing to take with me Elizabeth Gilbert's "Committed," Elisabeth Eaves's "Wanderlust," and "Tales of a Female Nomad." All books about the travels and adventures and revelations of women. They led to fabulous insights and conversations to be had on the beach which watching the turbulent ocean. Overall, we came back to the mountains (which were still snow-covered!) suntanned and refreshed. 

Last up for now was my trip back home. One week in the mountains, and one week at the beach: perfection. My time at home was filled with spending time with family, friends (a surprising number of friends in town from high school and college!- great catch-up sessions!), eating at my favorite restaurants, snuggling my puppies, and yoga yoga yoga at my studio. This being the studio I did my training at, it's practically my home away from home. I always attend at least one class a day while visiting, trying to soak up as much diverse yoga as possible. Some of my all time favorite and inspiring teachers are here. I always leave home feeling inspired as a yoga student and teacher, as well as feeling enriched from being in the place with so many people I love body and soul. It's getting harder and harder to leave every time. Not to mention how hard it was to leave after being at the beach. We've been going to the same beach as a family for the past 17 years. We've stayed on the same street, eaten at the same restaurants, set up our beach chairs and umbrella in the same place for as long as I can remember. We have our own community there, filled with awesome family friends and a routine. Days are filled with running on the beach or "the loop," eating custard from the local ice cream shop, reading Nora Roberts for hours on the beach, body surfing with my dad, walking and talking on the beach with my mom, sea kayaking or SUP-ing with the dolphins in the lagoon, and, naturally, taking fun beach yoga pics. This vacation was by far getting the best of both worlds!

#365daysofawesomeness

Hi all!! Apologies for the hiatus through the spring. My next post will definitely be about filling in the blanks! To put it shortly, the spring was full of travels, friends, family, and good times.

This post is about my Instagram challenge, #365daysofawesomeness. A friend of mine took part in Burton's (a sponsor of her's) June #30daysofawesomeness challenge. I missed the take-off for that, and at a sushi date with a girlfriend, decided to start my own. And bump it up a notch.

Sometimes choosing a picture is so obvious. Sometimes it's a struggle to choose just ONE!

{day 19} Yoga with friends.

{day 10} Loves at the FIRC fashion show.

{day 14} At the top of Mt Quandary at 14,265'!

What's challenging is finding awesomeness in the days that are filled with work and stress and monotony.

{day 22} A friend at work letting us borrow her bouquet. 

{day 21} A lazy afternoon on my day off. Much-needed R&R.

{day 17} A delish cookie and chai getting me through a long day at work.

The benefit to this is that it forces me to always be seeking something awesome, to be looking for awesomeness in even the most mundane day. Maybe it's beautiful flowers outside work, maybe it's a nice gesture from a friend, maybe it's a brief puppy kiss. This challenge has helped me discover that "awesomeness" doesn't have to be a view from a 14,000' peak, an awesome night out, or the most awesome/epic/adventurous thing ever. Awesomeness can be anything that brightens your day! 

To see more of my #365daysofawesomeness, follow me on Instagram: lizwilson0406. 336 days to go!

The Now

Wow. What an idea. When discussing this, I don't want to relate it to destiny, as that's a pretty controversial topic. Instead, I prefer to think of it in terms of the idea that you are exactly where you are meant to be in this moment. We, myself very much included, always seem to be in a hurry to get to the next step. It's great to have goals and to continue to move forward in life. However, to continuously have one's gaze facing forward, it's hard to not stay present in the current moment. To enjoy what is happening right now. If we keep searching for what's next, then we'll never be satisfied with what we have. If we work hard to get to a place in our lives, and once we attain that (whatever that might be), we simply start planning for the next step...etc etc, it's a vicious cycle. Then we can't enjoy the benefits of our hard work. I'm not saying it's not good to plan and have goals. But enjoy the journey! Easier said than done. Believe me, I know. 

Where are you in your life? Why do you let that "stage" determine and constrict your decisions? For example, as a woman/girl of nearly 24, I'm in a place of exploration. I working a job that I didn't go to college for, living in a ski town, having fun with friends, traveling and dating a lot. It's pretty awesome. However, coming from the South (with a capital S!), many other girls my age are in grad school, working in their field of study, or are married...or all of the above. I very much feel pulled in both directions. I'm in a time of my life right now where I'm trying to make some big decisions. But I'm also trying to enjoy the present moment, to enjoy this time free of roots and responsibilities.

Sometimes we find ourselves choosing a path simply because we think we should. However, some of the greatest things that occur in our lives happen when we aren't planning for it. You know those people that are in love and are telling their story, how they'll say, "I wasn't expecting it at all!" Exactly. So much better to enjoy the present moment, whatever that may hold for us, than to make plans for something/someone that isn't there yet. Why worry about "Is this meant to be?" when you can simply enjoy it? 

Best Ski Day Ever!

Me!!

Me and girls at the top of the Bonanza lift.

Last week I took an impromptu overnight ski trip with some girlfriends down to Wolf Creek. It was hands down the best ski day ever! It was by far not the prettiest I've skied, but definitely the most fun I've had. Wolf Creek had had 26" of powder in 24 hours. I've never had the opportunity to ski powder like that. Growing up skiing one week a year during spring break out west, I never understood people's love of powder, let alone "pow chasers." To me, it seemed like a hassle. I always got stuck, popped out of my bindings, etc. But this day showed me the light. It also helped that I had much better skis for the powder (thanks, Line Soulmates!). I finally had some fun skiing trees too. Mostly they're spread out at this mountain, and we could take it kind of slow with the fresh powder. Skiing knee-deep powder is no easy feat. We all had our fair share of tumbles, one of mine included a full-on superman dive right under the chairlift. One of my girlfriends witnessed it, and just died laughing at my face-full of snow. I tried to explain to the other girls at the base why we were behind, and my friend said she assumed something had to have happened since I now had snow in what used to be a space between my goggles and helmet. hah! 

Loving Colorado! Loving snow! Thanks, Ullr! Keep it coming...

Control shmontrol...go outside your comfort zone

This was my intention for my class a couple of weeks ago. I really try to incorporate intentions in my classes that are applicable both on and off the mat. This quote utterly represents the fine line that I currently walk upon...that I'm in a position to indulge my inner vagabond, to assuage my yearning for travel and iconic young-stupid-"in her 20's" experiences. While at the same time I am a creature of habit that eventually wants roots, stability, and a lovely house with a fabulous kitchen, walk-in closet, and a golden retriever. 

I have been lucky enough in my life as yet to have traveled quite a bit and experienced some amazing things. I studied abroad in Spain, went on a Mediterranean archeological cruise through National Geographic, lived in the woods of Idaho for a month for college credit, moved to Colorado to be a ski bum/yoga teacher... to name a few. Before pretty much every amazing experience I get violently nauseous and have a dance party of butterflies going on in my belly. Once arriving and settling in, my love of art museums, foreign languages, nature, wandering unfamiliar streets without a map, people watching, European cafes, etc takes over and the nervousness subsides. (Vast amounts of ginger ale doesn't hurt the situation, either.) Point blank, I get nervous before going into situations that I can't control or know what to expect. My dad once told me, "Lizzy, you don't have to control the situation. Just know that you can handle anything."

These words registered with me. Since then, I have still experienced anxiety that precedes going into a new situation that I am unsure about. However, I know to persist through it. For I know I can handle almost anything. And I know that some of the greatest things I have ever done have been nerve-wracking and anxiety-causing beforehand. These experiences have become defining moments in my life. They've made me exactly who I am today. 

This is a great thing to remember on the mat as well. It is easy, especially as one becomes a more advanced practitioner, to become complacent in your practice. To know your strengths and weaknesses, your "best" poses, the modifications you make in certain poses. To allow one vinyasa, one forward fold, one headstand, to be just like any other. However, we really need to strive to maintain curiosity in our practice. Remember when you were new on your mat? When every pose was a brand new physical pretzel-like contortion that elicited an array of physical sensations that left you feeling elated? Why should we let that go? Let's maintain that newbie mindset every time we set foot on our mat. I've done probably thousands of vinyasas in my 5+ years of practicing. (Hello...I'm an arm balance and vinyasa junkie!) So it definitely takes effort to stay present in every vinyasa that I do now. It takes effort to go to a clinic or another class, and allow the teacher to open my eyes to a new alignment or variation of a pose, and not just do the triangle pose I know and love, to not automatically flow through the vinyasa I know and love. As a teacher, I see this battle in my students. We'll work on crow pose (for example) in my classes. I'll have some students look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them it's their turn to try it. I tell them to simply try it, to simply try lifting one foot off the ground first, and maybe both. The look of wonder, of accomplishment, on some students' faces after accomplishing something they never thought they could have done is one of the most amazing things to feel as a teacher. I also strive to keep advanced practitioners on their toes. For those that the classic/traditional vinyasa (uttanasana-->plank-->chaturanga-->upward dog-->downward dog) is automatic, I like to throw in an extra chaturanga or to hold a chaturanga for an extra breath. The first time I do this, they are often already in upward dog. It is a good reminder to not let it become automatic, to remember that you really don't know where the teacher is going to take you next. 

In conclusion, the majority of our "comfort zone" is mental. We place these limitations upon ourselves. Telling ourselves what is normal, what we can or cannot do, what we should or should not do. I am in no way saying to not honor any injuries or to be unsafe. I love having a home base, a secure job, a safety net and confidential journal in the form of my family and friends. If I tweak my bad shoulder, I back off from chaturangas. But don't not try something simply because it is new and foreign and scary. Have faith and courage in yourself and your capabilities! Lift both feet off the mat and fly high! And maybe place a bolster in front of you, just in case. 

be open

My intention in class on Sunday was about having and maintaining an open heart. Being young and naive leads most of us to naturally have open hearts and be open to new experiences. To jump right into new things without thought of the consequences. As time and years pass, we suffer pain, heartbreak, disappointment, and embarrassment...repeatedly. It is only natural, after suffering so many painful repercussions of putting oneself out there, that we being to close ourselves off  in the name of self preservation. People become jaded, cynical, and guarded.

To feel pain means that we are present in the now. I would much rather know I was open to something, and had a great time while it lasted, than to have closed myself off to it and never experienced that. I just watched the movie "He's Just Not That Into You." I love what Ginnifer Goodwin's character Gigi tells Justin Long's Alex after he spurns her advances and almost demonizes her for her ability to create something out of nothing. She tells him that she would much rather remain hopeful, even if it caused her embarrassment and pain, than be closed off and jaded like he is. She puts herself out there while he isn't open to anything. Alex does prevent himself from getting hurt, yes. But the only way to get anything worth having is to put yourself out there. Gigi realizes she's doing just that. She stops trying to change herself to get the guy. She becomes happy with herself. This is the key...becoming happy with ourselves first and foremost. Not relying on someone or something else to make us happy.

Objectively, it seems a terrible cycle. Open up, get hurt, sulk and cry and eat ice cream, heal, open up again. However, to experience each and every one of those steps, to feel pain, is to experience life. To be present in the current moment, no matter what that moment holds for you. Let's be honest...it sucks to be hurt and feel pain. To feel like an idiot. But, even in the midst of feeling like an idiot, I would still much rather maintain my openness and vulnerability. I have to believe that "it," whatever "it" might be for me, will happen when I am the happiest with myself and the most open to any and all new experiences. The ups and downs remind us we are human and we are alive (versus a flat line: beeeeeeeeep). The downs make the ups seem all the more amazing. Facing disappointment after disappointment is...hard. (Talk about understatement.) To react to that by building up a guard isn't strength. It's fear. To accept and experience the pain, and then welcome the next experience with an open heart is pure strength.


ps, Destiny's Child's "Survivor" just came on my iTunes. Love it.

Svadhisthana in Buenos Aires

Dancer's pose in the Recoleta Cemetery

Last tango class with my instructor

In the fall, I was lucky enough to participate in a my first yoga retreat. And I chose a yoga tango retreat in Buenos Aires with Ashley Turner. In one word, it was fantástico! It was two weeks (I stayed on an extra week after the retreat ended) filled with yoga, dancing, speaking Spanish, and drinking wine. By Ashley's own words, it was an unusual retreat due to the fact that we stayed at a hotel in the heart of the city and balanced our yoga practice with drinking wine, eating meat, and being out-and-about in the hustle and bustle of BA. We started our days with a morning rooftop practice, not too early mind you. Argentineans have a very different perspective of what a late night entails. Our afternoons were filled with some individual site seeing, tango classes, and a dinner or tango dancing outing. Pretty great, right?

I was definitely looking forward to classes with the great yogini, Ashley. I was also looking forward to the tango immersion. I'd had a couple of lessons in Spanish classes in high school, so I knew the basic step and already loved it. However, that proved to not even be the tip of the iceberg. My biggest problem in the tango classes, which Andrés continued to harp on me about, was letting go of control. In tango, the male partner is supposed to lead and the woman is supposed to follow. I thought it would be easy-peasy; he has to do all the work. Not. At. All.

As the week proceeded, we discovered how hard it is to give up control to the guy. We also discovered how much this relates to the experience on the mat. As the female in tango, if you fight where your partner is trying to take you, it turns into a mess on the dance floor. I usually stepped on his foot. On the mat, if you fight against your breath, the asana poses, your body's limitations, and your body's sensations, you're not in the present moment. We need to allow the breath to lead us, to feel rather than think. This was the theme of our retreat: allowing ourselves to stop overthinking and rely more on our senses, to find the strength to surrender to the experience of the present moment. And to indulge.