Something interesting happened in class to me a couple of weeks ago. I was at a Sunday morning class, and feeling very laid back. I was enjoying flowing sleepily and taking it easy in my practice for a change. We were in a standing figure-4 hip-opener. The teacher, who, along with anyone else who knows me even a little bit, knows that I love arm balances, offered me specifically an opportunity to transition into flying pigeon. I had had every intention to stay in the standing balance, but suddenly I felt pressured to go into the arm balance. So I did.
Coming from a background of power vinyasa yoga, I've always enjoyed (even in a love-hate kind of way) a physically challenging practice. I also grew up playing a lot of sports, so I have been wired to always be pursuing better, faster, stronger, etc. Which is why I think I was so drawn to the physically challenging aspect of yoga.
However, in the past year or two, I've been able to become a little more in tune with my body and it's desires and limitations. Maybe it's being out of the athlete mindset, and/or having to deal with various injuries. Maybe it's due to the fact that between a demanding work schedule, including teaching as much as I can, and a desire to enjoy all of the outdoor activities living in beautiful Colorado has to offer, my personal practice is not as ritual as it was in college. I do try to practice every day, but sometimes that means a 20-minute flow at the gym with an emphasis on post-workout hip and hamstring stretches, as opposed to a 90-minute hot flow class. I've noticed a deepening in many postures of my practice, including some of the taxing arm balances and inversions, as well as some of the more flexibility-oriented postures like pigeon. I think a lot of this deepening has come from being able to follow the wishes of my body. I'm much more able to "blow off a vinyasa" if my shoulders are tired or achy, as opposed to a time in college when I continued to attend rigorous vinyasa classes and attempting all the poses with a strained tendon in my shoulder. Even off the mat, living in a very active community with a knee problem has been difficult. But if I only run on the days where I'm really feeling like running, then my knee is usually ok and the run is pretty successful. As opposed to coming home on fall break my junior year of college and making myself run when the next day a medical test came back positive for the flu.
Just as I've realized the benefits of being in tune to the limitations of your body, I also realize it's important to not become complacent. To continue to challenge yourself. It is absolutely a fine line that we are constantly struggling with. In my classes, I encourage my students (and myself in my own practice) to take everything I say as an offering. To respect your body and it's injuries and limitations, but also to give things a shot. I encourage them, and try to remind myself, to allow the practices of our neighbors in the kula of our class to serve as inspiration. Everyone has different "strengths" in their practice. I've always been stronger, so it is easy for me to see a yogini in full king puff pigeon or full splits and feel a spurt of envy. To try and feel "wow that's awesome, maybe someday" is definitely more difficult and definitely something to strive for.
