Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The magic happens outside your comfort zone

I've had a number of experiences lately all surrounding/related to the idea of getting outside of your comfort zone. (Not to mention the giant one of moving to a new city with knowing hardly anyone.)

One of my all-time favorite "GIRLS" episodes is the one where Hannah and Elijah do cocaine. I myself do not take drugs, but this episode is really fucking awesome. It all starts with Hannah writing an article for an online magazine. She's meeting with the editor, who tells her to get outside of her comfort zone to get good material for a story. She references her "magic v comfort zone" art on the wall to make her point. This leads Hannah to procure cocaine and have a wild night out on the town. I'm not advocating partaking in illegal drugs to try to get a new perspective. But I love the idea, as I always have, of getting outside of your comfort zone in order to challenge yourself and continue to grow as a person.



I watched this episode again with a friend last week. Then, while on a road trip, proceeded to have a wonderful conversation. She's definitely one of those people with whom you can talk about anything and everything. We have those great winding hours-long conversations that we have no idea where we started. We have made the observation that you can't always talk like this with everyone. We both enjoy playing the devil's advocate in a conversation, and can easily put ourselves in others' shoes. Even though we may not agree with what someone is saying, we can usually understand their point. A lot of this comes from truly listening to that person that's talking and sharing themselves with you.

You know the people where in a spirited debate become even more entrenched in their opinions as the discussion continues? That you can tell aren't really listening to your point of view, but are planning their counter point in their head as you talk? That claim to be really openminded/liberal/pro people's rights, but then won't respect the opinions of others if they differ? That dub themselves as experts on the topic and so won't give your opinion any vailidity? I've had plenty of these conversations. At some point, I've learned to recognize this early in the conversation and won't waste my breath. Why debate when I'm not heard or respected? I've had to learn to pick and choose with whom I talk about certain topics. I like to argue as much as the next stubborn and opinionated person, but I like to think myself respectful, non-judgmental, and open to new ideas and perspectives. Being able to put yourself in the shoes of another and understand them doesn't mean you have to agree with them or capitulate to their argument. It is not a weakness.

I thoroughly enjoy discussing controversial topics. Anything where I can have a strong opinion, I'm in! It encourages me not to get into a rut, at least with my opinions and thought processes. It's so easy to become complacent. Once you find your niche, at work, with activities, with friends and relationships, it's so easy to fall into what's comfortable and stay with it. I'm all for feeling strong and confident! Spending time with the friends with whom you can be your authentic self (farts included!), running your favorite route, snuggling up in the 10-year-old broken-in holey jeans, having a 45-minute yoga practice full of poses I love and feel good in, going to the same coffee shop every morning... There are wonderful aspects of finding a routine, finding what works for you, and sticking with it. That's a lot of what my journey is all about: seeking a place that calls to me and making it my home in every way (finding the coffee shop, establishing friendships, routing runs, forming a yoga kula). How quickly does that become getting stuck in a rut? Breaking out of what's comfortable every so often doesn't have to be a huge "Eat, Pray, Love" effort. It can be going to a new coffee shop, trying a different teacher at your yoga studio, branching out from talking about boys with your girlfriends, ask someone new to grab a glass of wine and talk one night, talking with someone about something you don't know that much about (and being ok with it). It can also be the grand gesture, like traveling to a completely foreign place and challenging everything about your comfort zone.


The point of all of this... Get out of your comfort zone occasssionally. It doesn't always have to be your new favorite to be able to get something out of it. We're not always right. We haven't mastered everything in the world. We don't know everything about everything. WE'RE NOT PERFECT! There's always going to be something new to learn, someone new to meet, a new topic to discuss, a new place to visit... Don't find what works for you and always stay there. Don't plateau. Keep searching and seeking and striving!